So I am finding it really hard to clean my house and keep it clean with two kids and a husband. But I finally got it done and now it's just catch up but it was so hard and so difficult. Now that I finally got my house cleaned my sister in-law and nieces came over so we could celebrate Andrea's birthday. It was a great visit but I would absolutely love if all these toys (especially the box of cars my son found) would pick up themselves. I am so tired!!!
I understand my husband has homework to do but I really feel like he is
doing just as much gaming as he is homework when he gets the chance to
do homework. But unless I am constantly watching him and looking over
his shoulder I would never know.
Still playing catch up with bills and rent but they are working themselves out and will sooner or later.
I had gotten back in touch with an old friend, Crysta, and it's great because she also has two kids. The place she works at was supposedly hiring so I filled out an application because with that job I could work part time and make full time money. She was kind enough to put in a good word for me and I called and talked to the manager, but he said he wasn't looking for anyone to work as of right now so in a few weeks I am going to give him a call and see if he might be hiring and if he knew when he might be. I might also fill out an application at buffalo wild wings because they seem to be hiring as well. I'd really like to get a job somewhere good making really good money so that we don't have to play catch up with bills and could instead play save up.
I have been all about doing more at the moment to get somewhere better later and have it be a little easier.
I wish I could go to school as well, but both of us in school wouldn't work out too well. Maybe when the kids are in school I can start going.
I really need to find some time to also work out so that I can lose this baby weight. Another possibility I would like is joining the Air Force active duty but I don't know if they are accepting anyone at the moment or in the near future.
Me and the hubby are also going to start Christmas shopping as well because then we can make payments on the gifts we are getting instead of paying for them all at the same time. We are definitely going to take advantage of it since we don't have a whole lot of money at one moment but we would like to spoil our kids at the same time.
Kaitey Mae is starting to smile a lot... she found her smile and it's so exciting :)
Wriley Paul is just getting more and more amazing everyday!!!
Other than that nothing new in my boring old life... I love my FAMILY!!!!!
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Monday, September 17, 2012
So much yet so little and lots of thoughts...
So yesterday I feel like I got a lot done but at the same time I don't feel like I got enough done and definitely not everything I would have liked to get done. I also really hate that feeling... it's like pride with a punch in the face.
I see people post things about the democratic party and how they aren't pro-choice BUT most of them are men. Men don't have to go nor do they have to pay for a yearly check up. Anything done by a doctor is expensive and I know I wouldn't have the money for a yearly check up every year especially now that I have two children and will one day have to pay for my daughter to start and keep up on her annual check ups as well. Also I think men should really think about whether they would want the government to pay for things such as check ups and birth control for those that can't afford it or would they rather have them having babies they can't afford. The child fatality rate would rise beyond belief and wouldn't even be able to turn to their own government because they don't give hand outs. For one reason or another you can't just legalize abortion and be okay with birth control and everything else planned parenthood does. They do a lot of good and not to mention the fact that they DON'T just say "oh, you'd like an abortion??? Lets set you up with an appointment." They don't work like that. They talk to you about different options to include the different adoption options. They educate you and give you everything you want to help you understand a sickness, illness, or information on anything you want to know. It's pretty close to free schooling.
Don't get me wrong I don't think abortion should be used as a form of birth control. I don't think the government should be giving people handouts like they do either. The government DOES pay for my birth control and check ups and such through medicaide and I DO receive help via WIC. Hell I might even qualify for food stamps, but I am not receiving them so I wouldn't know. I may need the help of the government to go to school, get my children into daycare and school, but I do not consider it free loading from the government. I do think they could lower and require things from people to receive. I have known someone receiving $600 a month in food stamps for him and his two kids yet he was failing to get a job and when he got money from his girlfriend he spent it on pot. I think if you're getting government help you should be drug tested regularly without getting to know when. And $600 in food stamps is a bit ridiculous for one person and two kids under the age of 5. Also another instance is the fact that I remember a time when I worked at a deli and had to save to get some nice steaks and such from there but some guy walks in with his food stamps and gets top choice new york strip steaks, t-bone steaks, porterhouse steaks, and filet mignon for him and his family. Why was I working my ass off to get a nice steak for me and the guy I was dating at the time but this guy had the government paying for his top dollar meals??? Whatever he was making with his food stamps was way too much. I'm not saying people who receive food stamps should get shit to eat but they shouldn't be able to eat like kings if they can't afford it.
Also I am debating on going to school and collecting my GI Bill or whether I should transfer it to my children and if I transfer it to my children can it only be used for college and if so is there a time limit for them to use it. I joined the army young and served 8 1/2 years and my kids are young and even after 10 years they won't be in college.
I still feel like my house is a mess but I have kids and close friends and family that need me today.
Rest In Peace Mrs. Ruby Suza
You will always be missed and loved by many <3
I see people post things about the democratic party and how they aren't pro-choice BUT most of them are men. Men don't have to go nor do they have to pay for a yearly check up. Anything done by a doctor is expensive and I know I wouldn't have the money for a yearly check up every year especially now that I have two children and will one day have to pay for my daughter to start and keep up on her annual check ups as well. Also I think men should really think about whether they would want the government to pay for things such as check ups and birth control for those that can't afford it or would they rather have them having babies they can't afford. The child fatality rate would rise beyond belief and wouldn't even be able to turn to their own government because they don't give hand outs. For one reason or another you can't just legalize abortion and be okay with birth control and everything else planned parenthood does. They do a lot of good and not to mention the fact that they DON'T just say "oh, you'd like an abortion??? Lets set you up with an appointment." They don't work like that. They talk to you about different options to include the different adoption options. They educate you and give you everything you want to help you understand a sickness, illness, or information on anything you want to know. It's pretty close to free schooling.
Don't get me wrong I don't think abortion should be used as a form of birth control. I don't think the government should be giving people handouts like they do either. The government DOES pay for my birth control and check ups and such through medicaide and I DO receive help via WIC. Hell I might even qualify for food stamps, but I am not receiving them so I wouldn't know. I may need the help of the government to go to school, get my children into daycare and school, but I do not consider it free loading from the government. I do think they could lower and require things from people to receive. I have known someone receiving $600 a month in food stamps for him and his two kids yet he was failing to get a job and when he got money from his girlfriend he spent it on pot. I think if you're getting government help you should be drug tested regularly without getting to know when. And $600 in food stamps is a bit ridiculous for one person and two kids under the age of 5. Also another instance is the fact that I remember a time when I worked at a deli and had to save to get some nice steaks and such from there but some guy walks in with his food stamps and gets top choice new york strip steaks, t-bone steaks, porterhouse steaks, and filet mignon for him and his family. Why was I working my ass off to get a nice steak for me and the guy I was dating at the time but this guy had the government paying for his top dollar meals??? Whatever he was making with his food stamps was way too much. I'm not saying people who receive food stamps should get shit to eat but they shouldn't be able to eat like kings if they can't afford it.
Also I am debating on going to school and collecting my GI Bill or whether I should transfer it to my children and if I transfer it to my children can it only be used for college and if so is there a time limit for them to use it. I joined the army young and served 8 1/2 years and my kids are young and even after 10 years they won't be in college.
I still feel like my house is a mess but I have kids and close friends and family that need me today.
Rest In Peace Mrs. Ruby Suza
You will always be missed and loved by many <3
Thursday, September 13, 2012
My Asshole
Why does it always feel like I am the one trying so hard???
Don't get me wrong... My husband can be absolutely amazing sometimes, but sometimes he is a complete asshole!!!
He has been in a mood for days now and I can tell and it irritates me. He won't say why and it's like he backs away emotionally and physically from me. Yesterday I was talking to him about things and I was trying to tell him how I need a break... a no kids break... and he kept saying things like 'do you want to do my homework' 'I need time to do homework' 'I'm sorry I have to go to school' and that wasn't the point I was getting at, but then he turns around and says 'you know what, if you want to go out you need to talk to your grandma and uncle about babysitting' Why should I have to ask my family to babysit for me to go out. When in fact I ask my mom or grandma if I can go over there to get help with the kids so he can go out? So today I made plans with a friend of mine and told him... "If you want help or anything with the kids while I am gone you might want to start asking around because I made dinner plans." And then after dinner I try to talk to him about why he's irritated or whatever and he just ignores me and keeps playing his games. So finally I said "You know thank you for clearing things up for me!" he says, "No problem" It took everything I had not to fuckin' kick him in the head because my foot was closest to him and closest to his head. And of course after we get inside from smoking and cleaning up Wriley from dinner and given him a bath I try again to talk to him and find out whats been going on with him and why he feels the need to constantly be playing games and ignoring me. And he says "They're just time consumers" so I said "Well, why don't you consume your time by talking to me to figure things out?" He says nothing. I keep talking and wait for a response and again get nothing. So I keep talking and I get nothing and again I get nothing. So I keep talking and again I get nothing. So I keep talking... AND THIS MOTHER FUCKER FUCKIN LOOKS AT HIS PHONE LIKE "WHEN IS SHE GOING TO STOP TALKING"
Now tell me why on earth I shouldn't have literally fuckin' hit him and broke his fuckin' phone, put a password he would never figure out on the computer, and break his xbox so that there were no games for him to play??? I am so fed up with constantly feeling like I am trying and trying and trying and he's just sitting courtside waiting for things to get better. Things were good for about a week when he was trying and then it's like he was done trying and things went to shit. It was about a week that things were really really good and it was like he was opening up to me and wanting to be with me and then BAM!!! Shit heaven is here and I'm the only one digging to get back to where we were. The last time I got a break and was kid free was the last time I went out with my gf Jessi, which btw was BEFORE Kaitey Mae was apart of the world. And now that I'm like hey I'd like to get some me time he wants to know what I'm doing and when and if it fits his schedule.
I understand I have kids and that my house will never be clean until they move out but it also doesn't help that we have two households full of stuff. I get sick of cleaning and if I got a break ever now and then I would be happy to constantly be cleaning whenever I get time to which is usually if both kids take a nap at the same time. Other than that it's the dishes and kitchen when Wriley Paul is sleeping if Kaitey lets me set her down and folding loads upon loads of laundry when Kaitey Mae is sleeping and the floors whenever I get the chance.
And then smoke breaks... they drive me crazy!!! Why is it when I go outside to smoke a cigarette it only takes 10 minutes but when my husband goes out to smoke a cigarette it takes him 20-40 minutes??? Because he will smoke and play a game on his phone and if I'm not inside going crazy he then plays some more and if I'm still not going crazy then he smokes another one and if I'm still not going crazy then he plays his games some more and if I'm still not going crazy he lights another cigarette and definately by that time I'm screaming and going insane. So I call him inside and e says "Well, let me finish smoking this real quick" about 15 minutes later he then decides I've gone insane long enough and comes inside to take control of Wriley Paul, which btw is the easy child to care for and play with. Kaitey Mae is needy and needy and needy. Sometimes I don't mind and I can handle it really well but sometimes I just want her to go to sleep so I can get some me time... i.e. when it's about 9-10pm it's time to go to sleep and let mommy get some mommy time.
I am just so irritated that I try and try and try and it seems like Riley doesn't give a fuck until I am ready to give up, and I am crying and screaming and basically begging him to try. I shouldn't have to reach that point. He should always be trying. And the more he tries the more I want to try and the better things are between us and the better things will get. I don't just want my kids being privilaged enough to grow up with mommy and daddy in the same household I want them to be privilaged enough to grow up in a loving household with both parents and as little screaming, yelling, irritation, and ignorance as possible. I know I get irritated easily but instead of just letting me be pissed off why is it that he can't just TRY to do something to change my mood instead of letting it irritate him and ignore me and irritate me even more and quit trying. I now I've had discussion (me talking) where I tell him this. Why do I feel like I have to tell him how to try and he can't even keep trying.
I just want things to be good and then really good and even though things aren't going to be really good all the time it would be nice if tried to keep them good. I gave up my whole life to be with him, and then I gave up even more because I was pregnant, and then I gave up even more because I had a baby, and then I had to give up a few of the luxuries I gained back because I was pregnant again, and now I have a second child I have nothing but memories of what my life use to be because I am so busy trying to take care of children, clean the house, organize the house, keep up with family, and try to find some time for me (just me). He has yet to give up as much as I have and all I am asking is that he try and that help to keep our relationship from going straight down the toilet. I really don't think I ask that much for him to treat me like this or be the way he is.
Don't get me wrong... My husband can be absolutely amazing sometimes, but sometimes he is a complete asshole!!!
He has been in a mood for days now and I can tell and it irritates me. He won't say why and it's like he backs away emotionally and physically from me. Yesterday I was talking to him about things and I was trying to tell him how I need a break... a no kids break... and he kept saying things like 'do you want to do my homework' 'I need time to do homework' 'I'm sorry I have to go to school' and that wasn't the point I was getting at, but then he turns around and says 'you know what, if you want to go out you need to talk to your grandma and uncle about babysitting' Why should I have to ask my family to babysit for me to go out. When in fact I ask my mom or grandma if I can go over there to get help with the kids so he can go out? So today I made plans with a friend of mine and told him... "If you want help or anything with the kids while I am gone you might want to start asking around because I made dinner plans." And then after dinner I try to talk to him about why he's irritated or whatever and he just ignores me and keeps playing his games. So finally I said "You know thank you for clearing things up for me!" he says, "No problem" It took everything I had not to fuckin' kick him in the head because my foot was closest to him and closest to his head. And of course after we get inside from smoking and cleaning up Wriley from dinner and given him a bath I try again to talk to him and find out whats been going on with him and why he feels the need to constantly be playing games and ignoring me. And he says "They're just time consumers" so I said "Well, why don't you consume your time by talking to me to figure things out?" He says nothing. I keep talking and wait for a response and again get nothing. So I keep talking and I get nothing and again I get nothing. So I keep talking and again I get nothing. So I keep talking... AND THIS MOTHER FUCKER FUCKIN LOOKS AT HIS PHONE LIKE "WHEN IS SHE GOING TO STOP TALKING"
Now tell me why on earth I shouldn't have literally fuckin' hit him and broke his fuckin' phone, put a password he would never figure out on the computer, and break his xbox so that there were no games for him to play??? I am so fed up with constantly feeling like I am trying and trying and trying and he's just sitting courtside waiting for things to get better. Things were good for about a week when he was trying and then it's like he was done trying and things went to shit. It was about a week that things were really really good and it was like he was opening up to me and wanting to be with me and then BAM!!! Shit heaven is here and I'm the only one digging to get back to where we were. The last time I got a break and was kid free was the last time I went out with my gf Jessi, which btw was BEFORE Kaitey Mae was apart of the world. And now that I'm like hey I'd like to get some me time he wants to know what I'm doing and when and if it fits his schedule.
I understand I have kids and that my house will never be clean until they move out but it also doesn't help that we have two households full of stuff. I get sick of cleaning and if I got a break ever now and then I would be happy to constantly be cleaning whenever I get time to which is usually if both kids take a nap at the same time. Other than that it's the dishes and kitchen when Wriley Paul is sleeping if Kaitey lets me set her down and folding loads upon loads of laundry when Kaitey Mae is sleeping and the floors whenever I get the chance.
And then smoke breaks... they drive me crazy!!! Why is it when I go outside to smoke a cigarette it only takes 10 minutes but when my husband goes out to smoke a cigarette it takes him 20-40 minutes??? Because he will smoke and play a game on his phone and if I'm not inside going crazy he then plays some more and if I'm still not going crazy then he smokes another one and if I'm still not going crazy then he plays his games some more and if I'm still not going crazy he lights another cigarette and definately by that time I'm screaming and going insane. So I call him inside and e says "Well, let me finish smoking this real quick" about 15 minutes later he then decides I've gone insane long enough and comes inside to take control of Wriley Paul, which btw is the easy child to care for and play with. Kaitey Mae is needy and needy and needy. Sometimes I don't mind and I can handle it really well but sometimes I just want her to go to sleep so I can get some me time... i.e. when it's about 9-10pm it's time to go to sleep and let mommy get some mommy time.
I am just so irritated that I try and try and try and it seems like Riley doesn't give a fuck until I am ready to give up, and I am crying and screaming and basically begging him to try. I shouldn't have to reach that point. He should always be trying. And the more he tries the more I want to try and the better things are between us and the better things will get. I don't just want my kids being privilaged enough to grow up with mommy and daddy in the same household I want them to be privilaged enough to grow up in a loving household with both parents and as little screaming, yelling, irritation, and ignorance as possible. I know I get irritated easily but instead of just letting me be pissed off why is it that he can't just TRY to do something to change my mood instead of letting it irritate him and ignore me and irritate me even more and quit trying. I now I've had discussion (me talking) where I tell him this. Why do I feel like I have to tell him how to try and he can't even keep trying.
I just want things to be good and then really good and even though things aren't going to be really good all the time it would be nice if tried to keep them good. I gave up my whole life to be with him, and then I gave up even more because I was pregnant, and then I gave up even more because I had a baby, and then I had to give up a few of the luxuries I gained back because I was pregnant again, and now I have a second child I have nothing but memories of what my life use to be because I am so busy trying to take care of children, clean the house, organize the house, keep up with family, and try to find some time for me (just me). He has yet to give up as much as I have and all I am asking is that he try and that help to keep our relationship from going straight down the toilet. I really don't think I ask that much for him to treat me like this or be the way he is.
My Poor Baby...
My Wriley Paul went to the doctor today to catch up on his shots and he got 5 of them and blood drawn... he was SSSOOOOOO mad and angry and screaming really loud. It made me so sad and kind of like punching the nurse in the face for hurting my baby. I wish it didn't hurt him so much. And not to mention how grouchy he is even though we are home and away from any needle. He's doing better as time goes by but he has still been grouchy.
Side note... Did you hear the news???
My peanut butter and Jelly sandwich is racist because lanitos don't eat sandwiches they eat pitas or tortillas or whatever. How ridiculous is that. Was it not invented on bread??? So would it not be a sandwich??? And if they use some other way to make a peanut butter and jelly something or other then that would be their prerogative, but I'm not calling them racist because they don't eat sandwiches??? Nor am I calling them racist for using some other form of bread??? So why does my sandwich have to be the racist one???
Side note... Did you hear the news???
My peanut butter and Jelly sandwich is racist because lanitos don't eat sandwiches they eat pitas or tortillas or whatever. How ridiculous is that. Was it not invented on bread??? So would it not be a sandwich??? And if they use some other way to make a peanut butter and jelly something or other then that would be their prerogative, but I'm not calling them racist because they don't eat sandwiches??? Nor am I calling them racist for using some other form of bread??? So why does my sandwich have to be the racist one???
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
"A"mazing
Yesterday while my husband was at school I got the joy of having both kids with no help. While at first and before he started classes I was worried I might not be able to care for both Wriley Paul and Kaitey Mae I am doing pretty fantastic. Although sometimes I think that they know or realize he is not home and takes it easy on me. My daughter though had to have a good talking to about sharing mommy because when Riley is home he is usually caring for Wriley while I care for Kaitey. With Kaitey being a newborn she does do a lot of sleeping so it still leaves plenty of time to handle up Wriley and get some time with him which I love. But while my husband was at school yesterday I was talented enough to hold and feed Kaitey with one hand while also holding/cuddling with Wriley Paul. I was thinking "Man, I am more talented than I thought" and all the while looking at both of my amazing children all of us cuddling under the same blanket and thinking "This is great! I love times like these" Although they do not last long I enjoy the few minutes it lasts. When Wriley Paul got up and started playing with his toys and such I couldn't help but think how lucky I am to have such an amazing, handsome son. I really am lucky to have two such amazing children although as with every child there are and will be hectic times.
On a side note I met and talked to my next door neighbor, Lisa. She is a pretty awesome person. She is an assistant on the school bus to help with the children. She also is recovering from surgery because she donated her kidney to her father. She has a lot of advice and is willing to help with the kids as well. Although I did just meet her and would like to get to know her a little better before I decide to let her watch my kids even if it's for a few minutes to run to the store or something quick. But the offer is great and knowing she is there is great as well. And lets not forget that she is awesome enough to give a kidney to her father.
Back to the fam...
My son has had a cough that is kind of crazy and now a runny nose and I think it is just a cold or maybe even allergies from the temperature/season change. My husband though now has me worried that it's not and that it may be whopping cough. SCARY!!! I don't want this to be the case. I don't even like when my son is sick. I worry too much. I made an appointment for him to go to the doctor and get him looked at along with getting his ears and legs checked and his shots up to date. My daughter will be getting her one month shots so I guess we will be going back more often than not to keep her up to date on his shotss and my son up to date on his shots period.
Another side note...
I am sick of being broke and hate, hate, hate being broke. I am hoping my husband will consider watching my friends son so my friend can get a job and the state will pay us for watching his son. How great would that be!?! We would get paid for the trouble but my son would be able to hang out and play with one of his friends.
On a side note I met and talked to my next door neighbor, Lisa. She is a pretty awesome person. She is an assistant on the school bus to help with the children. She also is recovering from surgery because she donated her kidney to her father. She has a lot of advice and is willing to help with the kids as well. Although I did just meet her and would like to get to know her a little better before I decide to let her watch my kids even if it's for a few minutes to run to the store or something quick. But the offer is great and knowing she is there is great as well. And lets not forget that she is awesome enough to give a kidney to her father.
Back to the fam...
My son has had a cough that is kind of crazy and now a runny nose and I think it is just a cold or maybe even allergies from the temperature/season change. My husband though now has me worried that it's not and that it may be whopping cough. SCARY!!! I don't want this to be the case. I don't even like when my son is sick. I worry too much. I made an appointment for him to go to the doctor and get him looked at along with getting his ears and legs checked and his shots up to date. My daughter will be getting her one month shots so I guess we will be going back more often than not to keep her up to date on his shotss and my son up to date on his shots period.
Another side note...
I am sick of being broke and hate, hate, hate being broke. I am hoping my husband will consider watching my friends son so my friend can get a job and the state will pay us for watching his son. How great would that be!?! We would get paid for the trouble but my son would be able to hang out and play with one of his friends.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Clueless and Undeserving (IMO)
This is going to be extremely long and possibly confusing for anyone that reads this...
My sister... OMG... Crazy stripper living a crazy stripper life. She like a lot of strippers found a sugar daddy who paid for her duplex. She was in the process of getting evicted for non-payment after she bankrupted her sugar daddy when she found out she was pregnant. So her and her boyfriend (Baby's Daddy) left and found a place of their own... they couldn't for some reason come up with money to pay the bills so my mother did it... they couldn't pay the rent so they got evicted... they found another place and I think another place... I lost track after so much.. but they had their baby and it was a boy Sebastian. Well my mother did want them living in a bad neighbor hood or a questionable place with a new baby so she co-signed on a 3 bedroom 2 bath trailer in a decent area. My mom still ended up paying bills for her and doing a lot more than she ever should have but she couldn't just say no when her grand baby was in the middle of a screwed up situation. I even at one point moved in and I was paying $300 of the $500 rent. I was never around and basically only slept there. My sister complained all the time about how no one helps her, and she doesn't have this that or the other, and she can't pay this bill or that bill, and everything that everyone else has is nicer than hers. Also at this point my sister had dodge neon that was co-signed on and baby's daddy totaled it so she decided she wasn't going to pay for it. My sister found a car but it was a piece and was deteriorating quickly because she does not only not take care of things but she destroys them. My grandparents then didn't want their now TWO great grandchildren being driven around in a death trap so they bought a Honda Odessy in extremely good condition and hardly used and extremely well taken care of by the previous owners and offered it to my sister for the cheap low rate of $50 a month. My sister made that payment twice to end up borrowing $80 of it back and never paying back what was borrowed nor what was owed to my grandparents for the vehicle. They let her keep it because they didn't need it and the great grandchildren. My sister detroyed that. After they had been evicted from the trailer they ended up in a hotel. One night my mother got a phone call from her saying "Come get these kids" My mom not really knowing what to do or say extra late night couldn't pick up her grandchildren because she had work the next day. My mom called my sister the next day and gave my sister the option of living with her and going to school at night and get out of the stripping business. My sister turned her down on this offer multiple times. Finally my mother made the offer the the baby's daddy and he took the offer with no where to go and after him and my sister had broken up. He at the time moved in with my mother and brought not only my nephews but his new girlfriend as well. My mother didn't say anything but she was willing to let them live there and get their stuff together (get their license, get a car, get some money together, and get a place of their own). When my nephews moved in with my mother the youngest was only a 18 months and the oldest was about to turn or had just turned 3 years old. Because of the government help that Baby's Daddy needed my sister signed the boys over to him. Baby's Daddy and girlfriend and nephews lived with my mother for 18 months before my mother and her now husband (Congrats!!!) decided they were moving and they were moving without an extra family in tow and leeching off of everything they could. Bab's Daddy and girlfriend had accomplished nothing and blamed my mom and step-dad. Uuuummmm... how did their screw up and not being able to accomplish anything had nothing to do with anybody but them and they did it with help from not their own family but mine. So during the move my Mom and step-dad decided to get custody of the boys... and my sister fighting my Baby's Daddy signed for my mom to have custody. My mom now has custody and my sister in unhappily living in a trashy house in a crappy neighborhood with an a$$hole for a boyfriend. She has called me many times crying and sometimes screaming because they are fighting and she wants to leave. She never leaves. Now that you know the extremely long back story the real story is....
My sister called me today wanting me to go pick her up and bring her to my grandmas house. I told her because she lives an hour away and I am low on cash I would need some gas money. She said it was fine but she wanted to go visit with my grandma, do laundry and see the boys. I told her that was fine but today at 1700 mass was being held in remembrance of my grandfather (In Oct. it will be two years since God welcomed him with open arms into the Heavens above) and that after mass the whole family was going to go out to eat. She said that was fine. I also told her that my husband and I both had to jump in the shower and then get the kids ready before we could leave. She said that was fine as well. The only problem was that it was 1230 at this point. At 1330 my sister was calling askin where I was at. I told her I had just gotten out of the shower and had to get dressed and get my one month old ready, and that my husband had already taken a shower, my 17 month old son had eaten and was dressed, and that my husband was in the process of getting the diaper bag together. She was mad and was saying we should do it a different day, but she wanted to call my grandma and make sure. She called my grandma and then called me back and said that she really wanted to go to mass and be there for my grandmother during this specific mass. So as I was finishing getting ready and trying to get my daughter ready my grandmother called and told me that by the time we got there we wouldn't have enough time for her to do laundry but she was still more than welcome to come over and go to mass and dinner, and maybe it would be better for her to just stay the night and she could see the boys and spend time with them before mass and then while the boys were at school she could do her laundry and go with my uncle to pick them up after school. Then once my mother got off work and came to pick up the boys I could then proceed to take her home with lots of time spent with the boys and clean clothes. I told my grandma that it sounded good and made more sense and that I would call my sister back and tell her the new plan. I called my sister back and told her the plan and she was completely against it because she had to help her boyfriends dad pack and move his stuff. I told her to let her boyfriend do that, you need to spend time with your kids and it has been over a month and a half since she seen my grandmother and she's getting a bit loopy in her old age. She said "no, no, no, I have to help pack and move" I then had to ask "So you are choosing your boyfriends dad over your own kids?" She got mad and said no but I have to help... blah blah blah... I said "No, you are" She got mad again because really she had no good reason not to go with the plan. She tried telling me that we will just do it another day. I told her that she needs to call earlier. She said well she doesn't get home from work til early morning hours and she needs to get some sleep. I told her then I didn't know what to tell her because I can't just up and go places any more I have children and a family of my own own and a life of my own. I told her she is the one who made the career choice of stripping so it is no one elses fault but her own. She got even more mad and hung up on me. She hung up on me because she was not only mad but she knew I was right.
Now...
I really don't understand why someone can not only abandon her kids with their dad and then sign them over... so she gave them up twice and for some reason she thinks she has the right to call them her kids... this really irritates me... she likes to play house but when she's bored and done she wants to just be done and go back to her stripping partying life style... I hate that she does this to the boys... they deserve better and have better but I really feel like she is holding them back from moving forward in ways they should be because she is a part of the past that is around long enough and just enough for them to be stuck in the past. I may be a bad sister for saying this but I hope she never gets custody of them because she didn't work hard enough through the younger years to be a part of their life to be a part of their life in the future. My kids drive me up a wall... to the point of screaming and yelling as I stomp around the house or calling my grandma screaming at her trying to get an answer out of her on how to fix my kids because she had 8... and in all reality not only is every kids different even after so many but it's not that they need to be fixed they need consistancy... something my sisters visits are far from... And with so many people out there not being able to reproduce or have the money to adopt my sister has two children that she gave up on twice and comes around once a month or so. My sister I don't think deserves to ever feel like a mother and she is clueless on the work it takes to raise them from day one. I get concerned that my son might hate me because I take care of the baby or that he might feel unloved because I don't hold him as much as I hold her or that I don't spend enough time with him because I am so wrapped up in taking care of the baby. I feel like there isn't enough of me to care enough for my children and it's like she feels that once a month visit is more than enough for them to keep calling her mommy... this angers me so much for so many reasons... I don't think she should be allowed to see her kids until she can get her life together enough to deserve it and gain partial custody or at least court ordered visitation...
My sister... OMG... Crazy stripper living a crazy stripper life. She like a lot of strippers found a sugar daddy who paid for her duplex. She was in the process of getting evicted for non-payment after she bankrupted her sugar daddy when she found out she was pregnant. So her and her boyfriend (Baby's Daddy) left and found a place of their own... they couldn't for some reason come up with money to pay the bills so my mother did it... they couldn't pay the rent so they got evicted... they found another place and I think another place... I lost track after so much.. but they had their baby and it was a boy Sebastian. Well my mother did want them living in a bad neighbor hood or a questionable place with a new baby so she co-signed on a 3 bedroom 2 bath trailer in a decent area. My mom still ended up paying bills for her and doing a lot more than she ever should have but she couldn't just say no when her grand baby was in the middle of a screwed up situation. I even at one point moved in and I was paying $300 of the $500 rent. I was never around and basically only slept there. My sister complained all the time about how no one helps her, and she doesn't have this that or the other, and she can't pay this bill or that bill, and everything that everyone else has is nicer than hers. Also at this point my sister had dodge neon that was co-signed on and baby's daddy totaled it so she decided she wasn't going to pay for it. My sister found a car but it was a piece and was deteriorating quickly because she does not only not take care of things but she destroys them. My grandparents then didn't want their now TWO great grandchildren being driven around in a death trap so they bought a Honda Odessy in extremely good condition and hardly used and extremely well taken care of by the previous owners and offered it to my sister for the cheap low rate of $50 a month. My sister made that payment twice to end up borrowing $80 of it back and never paying back what was borrowed nor what was owed to my grandparents for the vehicle. They let her keep it because they didn't need it and the great grandchildren. My sister detroyed that. After they had been evicted from the trailer they ended up in a hotel. One night my mother got a phone call from her saying "Come get these kids" My mom not really knowing what to do or say extra late night couldn't pick up her grandchildren because she had work the next day. My mom called my sister the next day and gave my sister the option of living with her and going to school at night and get out of the stripping business. My sister turned her down on this offer multiple times. Finally my mother made the offer the the baby's daddy and he took the offer with no where to go and after him and my sister had broken up. He at the time moved in with my mother and brought not only my nephews but his new girlfriend as well. My mother didn't say anything but she was willing to let them live there and get their stuff together (get their license, get a car, get some money together, and get a place of their own). When my nephews moved in with my mother the youngest was only a 18 months and the oldest was about to turn or had just turned 3 years old. Because of the government help that Baby's Daddy needed my sister signed the boys over to him. Baby's Daddy and girlfriend and nephews lived with my mother for 18 months before my mother and her now husband (Congrats!!!) decided they were moving and they were moving without an extra family in tow and leeching off of everything they could. Bab's Daddy and girlfriend had accomplished nothing and blamed my mom and step-dad. Uuuummmm... how did their screw up and not being able to accomplish anything had nothing to do with anybody but them and they did it with help from not their own family but mine. So during the move my Mom and step-dad decided to get custody of the boys... and my sister fighting my Baby's Daddy signed for my mom to have custody. My mom now has custody and my sister in unhappily living in a trashy house in a crappy neighborhood with an a$$hole for a boyfriend. She has called me many times crying and sometimes screaming because they are fighting and she wants to leave. She never leaves. Now that you know the extremely long back story the real story is....
My sister called me today wanting me to go pick her up and bring her to my grandmas house. I told her because she lives an hour away and I am low on cash I would need some gas money. She said it was fine but she wanted to go visit with my grandma, do laundry and see the boys. I told her that was fine but today at 1700 mass was being held in remembrance of my grandfather (In Oct. it will be two years since God welcomed him with open arms into the Heavens above) and that after mass the whole family was going to go out to eat. She said that was fine. I also told her that my husband and I both had to jump in the shower and then get the kids ready before we could leave. She said that was fine as well. The only problem was that it was 1230 at this point. At 1330 my sister was calling askin where I was at. I told her I had just gotten out of the shower and had to get dressed and get my one month old ready, and that my husband had already taken a shower, my 17 month old son had eaten and was dressed, and that my husband was in the process of getting the diaper bag together. She was mad and was saying we should do it a different day, but she wanted to call my grandma and make sure. She called my grandma and then called me back and said that she really wanted to go to mass and be there for my grandmother during this specific mass. So as I was finishing getting ready and trying to get my daughter ready my grandmother called and told me that by the time we got there we wouldn't have enough time for her to do laundry but she was still more than welcome to come over and go to mass and dinner, and maybe it would be better for her to just stay the night and she could see the boys and spend time with them before mass and then while the boys were at school she could do her laundry and go with my uncle to pick them up after school. Then once my mother got off work and came to pick up the boys I could then proceed to take her home with lots of time spent with the boys and clean clothes. I told my grandma that it sounded good and made more sense and that I would call my sister back and tell her the new plan. I called my sister back and told her the plan and she was completely against it because she had to help her boyfriends dad pack and move his stuff. I told her to let her boyfriend do that, you need to spend time with your kids and it has been over a month and a half since she seen my grandmother and she's getting a bit loopy in her old age. She said "no, no, no, I have to help pack and move" I then had to ask "So you are choosing your boyfriends dad over your own kids?" She got mad and said no but I have to help... blah blah blah... I said "No, you are" She got mad again because really she had no good reason not to go with the plan. She tried telling me that we will just do it another day. I told her that she needs to call earlier. She said well she doesn't get home from work til early morning hours and she needs to get some sleep. I told her then I didn't know what to tell her because I can't just up and go places any more I have children and a family of my own own and a life of my own. I told her she is the one who made the career choice of stripping so it is no one elses fault but her own. She got even more mad and hung up on me. She hung up on me because she was not only mad but she knew I was right.
Now...
I really don't understand why someone can not only abandon her kids with their dad and then sign them over... so she gave them up twice and for some reason she thinks she has the right to call them her kids... this really irritates me... she likes to play house but when she's bored and done she wants to just be done and go back to her stripping partying life style... I hate that she does this to the boys... they deserve better and have better but I really feel like she is holding them back from moving forward in ways they should be because she is a part of the past that is around long enough and just enough for them to be stuck in the past. I may be a bad sister for saying this but I hope she never gets custody of them because she didn't work hard enough through the younger years to be a part of their life to be a part of their life in the future. My kids drive me up a wall... to the point of screaming and yelling as I stomp around the house or calling my grandma screaming at her trying to get an answer out of her on how to fix my kids because she had 8... and in all reality not only is every kids different even after so many but it's not that they need to be fixed they need consistancy... something my sisters visits are far from... And with so many people out there not being able to reproduce or have the money to adopt my sister has two children that she gave up on twice and comes around once a month or so. My sister I don't think deserves to ever feel like a mother and she is clueless on the work it takes to raise them from day one. I get concerned that my son might hate me because I take care of the baby or that he might feel unloved because I don't hold him as much as I hold her or that I don't spend enough time with him because I am so wrapped up in taking care of the baby. I feel like there isn't enough of me to care enough for my children and it's like she feels that once a month visit is more than enough for them to keep calling her mommy... this angers me so much for so many reasons... I don't think she should be allowed to see her kids until she can get her life together enough to deserve it and gain partial custody or at least court ordered visitation...
Saturday, September 8, 2012
So...
So 2 days ago I sure Julie's place of work and talked to the manager and we had a pretty decent conversation about what she was doing. He also said that he would talk to her and the store manager about because her stealing information off of a job application is unacceptable. I also pointed out the fact that someone like that in a place of work is dangerous because this time it was a phone number but next time it could be social security number. I don't want her going to jail... hell I wouldn't even be mad if she got to keep her job, but I do want something do to this girl about it. And hopefully now she will think twice before not only texting my husband, lying to me, but hopefully she takes it as a learning experience and doesn't do it again.
On to my next train of thought...
My daughter is absolutely adorable, but why can't she wake up more during the day so that she sleeps at night so I can get some me time or even some time with my husband??? It's hard to get things done when every time we turn around there is a child awake and being needy in some way or another.
Next thing still on my mind...
I went to my friends daughters bday party. It was fun but her brothers not only played tug of war with a snake but then they skinned it while one of the younger boys chase around one of the little girls with the head of the snake. Funny in some way but I was kinda shocked with the whole thing because I've met and seen some pretty crazy things done with bugs and such but never this. It was cruel, I guess amusing in a way, but also sad and gross.
next...
Sometimes I really do find husband slower than a slug in salt... lol... I love him dearly but my goodness some times i feel like he just needs a swift kick in the a$$...
I am right now trying to get my daughter to lay in bed sleeping instead of on me so I must go... Enojy this mostly boring blog of my life...
P.S. to my Skype friend if my phone hangs up on you feel free to double check and make sure I'm not on facebook or skype... lol... love you...
On to my next train of thought...
My daughter is absolutely adorable, but why can't she wake up more during the day so that she sleeps at night so I can get some me time or even some time with my husband??? It's hard to get things done when every time we turn around there is a child awake and being needy in some way or another.
Next thing still on my mind...
I went to my friends daughters bday party. It was fun but her brothers not only played tug of war with a snake but then they skinned it while one of the younger boys chase around one of the little girls with the head of the snake. Funny in some way but I was kinda shocked with the whole thing because I've met and seen some pretty crazy things done with bugs and such but never this. It was cruel, I guess amusing in a way, but also sad and gross.
next...
Sometimes I really do find husband slower than a slug in salt... lol... I love him dearly but my goodness some times i feel like he just needs a swift kick in the a$$...
I am right now trying to get my daughter to lay in bed sleeping instead of on me so I must go... Enojy this mostly boring blog of my life...
P.S. to my Skype friend if my phone hangs up on you feel free to double check and make sure I'm not on facebook or skype... lol... love you...
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
So this is my first blog obviously but my friend turned me to it and I hope it works and goes as well for me as it does her. I usually have a ton of stuff to b!tch about but lately I don't have a whole lot to complain about except being broke. But in all actuality I can't really b!tch about that either because I could probably find some way to get some kind of job but I don't want to get a job when I already feel like I don't get enough Wriley Paul (my son) time and Kaitey Mae (my daughter) is only a month old. My husband, Riley, can be an absolutely amazing guy but like every husband stupidity and man-ness just flows beyond belief... lol :-P Sometimes my husband is more of a child than he is an adult but I'm not going to lie I at times I can't help the ridiculousness that comes from myself and only think how stupid and over exaggerated was that after the fact. Hormones... lol... they drive me crazy too!!! Sometimes other men and people irritate the crap out of me even more than my own husband... kinda want to lock up the stupid inconciderate @$$holes and let them fend for themselves. Like a whole state... pay the debt to society to be a decent person and we will let you roam the U.S. Now the fact that there are ridiculous people in the world I could talk about all day and I'm sure you will see a post now and then about it/them.
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