Clueless and Undeserving (IMO)

This is going to be extremely long and possibly confusing for anyone that reads this...

My sister... OMG... Crazy stripper living a crazy stripper life. She like a lot of strippers found a sugar daddy who paid for her duplex. She was in the process of getting evicted for non-payment after she bankrupted her sugar daddy when she found out she was pregnant. So her and her boyfriend (Baby's Daddy) left and found a place of their own... they couldn't for some reason come up with money to pay the bills so my mother did it... they couldn't pay the rent so they got evicted... they found another place and I think another place... I lost track after so much.. but they had their baby and it was a boy Sebastian. Well my mother did want them living in a bad neighbor hood or a questionable place with a new baby so she co-signed on a 3 bedroom 2 bath trailer in a decent area. My mom still ended up paying bills for her and doing a lot more than she ever should have but she couldn't just say no when her grand baby was in the middle of a screwed up situation. I even at one point moved in and I was paying $300 of the $500 rent. I was never around and basically only slept there. My sister complained all the time about how no one helps her, and she doesn't have this that or the other, and she can't pay this bill or that bill, and everything that everyone else has is nicer than hers. Also at this point my sister had dodge neon that was co-signed on and baby's daddy totaled it so she decided she wasn't going to pay for it. My sister found a car but it was a piece and was deteriorating quickly because she does not only not take care of things but she destroys them. My grandparents then didn't want their now TWO great grandchildren being driven around in a death trap so they bought a Honda Odessy in extremely good condition and hardly used and extremely well taken care of by the previous owners and offered it to my sister for the cheap low rate of $50 a month. My sister made that payment twice to end up borrowing $80 of it back and never paying back what was borrowed nor what was owed to my grandparents for the vehicle. They let her keep it because they didn't need it and the great grandchildren. My sister detroyed that. After they had been evicted from the trailer they ended up in a hotel. One night my mother got a phone call from her saying "Come get these kids" My mom not really knowing what to do or say extra late night couldn't pick up her grandchildren because she had work the next day. My mom called my sister the next day and gave my sister the option of living with her and going to school at night and get out of the stripping business. My sister turned her down on this offer multiple times. Finally my mother made the offer the the baby's daddy and he took the offer with no where to go and after him and my sister had broken up. He at the time moved in with my mother and brought not only my nephews but his new girlfriend as well. My mother didn't say anything but she was willing to let them live there and get their stuff together (get their license, get a car, get some money together, and get a place of their own). When my nephews moved in with my mother the youngest was only a 18 months and the oldest was about to turn or had just turned 3 years old. Because of the government help that Baby's Daddy needed my sister signed the boys over to him. Baby's Daddy and girlfriend and nephews lived with my mother for 18 months before my mother and her now husband (Congrats!!!) decided they were moving and they were moving without an extra family in tow and leeching off of everything they could. Bab's Daddy and girlfriend had accomplished nothing and blamed my mom and step-dad. Uuuummmm... how did their screw up and not being able to accomplish anything had nothing to do with anybody but them and they did it with help from not their own family but mine. So during the move my Mom and step-dad decided to get custody of the boys... and my sister fighting my Baby's Daddy signed for my mom to have custody. My mom now has custody and my sister in unhappily living in a trashy house in a crappy neighborhood with an a$$hole for a boyfriend. She has called me many times crying and sometimes screaming because they are fighting and she wants to leave. She never leaves. Now that you know the extremely long back story the real story is....

My sister called me today wanting me to go pick her up and bring her to my grandmas house. I told her because she lives an hour away and I am low on cash I would need some gas money. She said it was fine but she wanted to go visit with my grandma, do laundry and see the boys. I told her that was fine but today at 1700 mass was being held in remembrance of my grandfather (In Oct. it will be two years since God welcomed him with open arms into the Heavens above) and that after mass the whole family was going to go out to eat. She said that was fine. I also told her that my husband and I both had to jump in the shower and then get the kids ready before we could leave. She said that was fine as well. The only problem was that it was 1230 at this point. At 1330 my sister was calling askin where I was at. I told her I had just gotten out of the shower and had to get dressed and get my one month old ready, and that my husband had already taken a shower, my 17 month old son had eaten and was dressed, and that my husband was in the process of getting the diaper bag together. She was mad and was saying we should do it a different day, but she wanted to call my grandma and make sure. She called my grandma and then called me back and said that she really wanted to go to mass and be there for my grandmother during this specific mass. So as I was finishing getting ready and trying to get my daughter ready my grandmother called and told me that by the time we got there we wouldn't have enough time for her to do laundry but she was still more than welcome to come over and go to mass and dinner, and maybe it would be better for her to just stay the night and she could see the boys and spend time with them before mass and then while the boys were at school she could do her laundry and go with my uncle to pick them up after school. Then once my mother got off work and came to pick up the boys I could then proceed to take her home with lots of time spent with the boys and clean clothes. I told my grandma that it sounded good and made more sense and that I would call my sister back and tell her the new plan. I called my sister back and told her the plan and she was completely against it because she had to help her boyfriends dad pack and move his stuff. I told her to let her boyfriend do that, you need to spend time with your kids and it has been over a month and a half since she seen my grandmother and she's getting a bit loopy in her old age. She said "no, no, no, I have to help pack and move" I then had to ask "So you are choosing your boyfriends dad over your own kids?" She got mad and said no but I have to help... blah blah blah... I said "No, you are" She got mad again because really she had no good reason not to go with the plan. She tried telling me that we will just do it another day. I told her that she needs to call earlier. She said well she doesn't get home from work til early morning hours and she needs to get some sleep. I told her then I didn't know what to tell her because I can't just up and go places any more I have children and a family of my own own and a life of my own. I told her she is the one who made the career choice of stripping so it is no one elses fault but her own. She got even more mad and hung up on me. She hung up on me because she was not only mad but she knew I was right.

Now...
I really don't understand why someone can not only abandon her kids with their dad and then sign them over... so she gave them up twice and for some reason she thinks she has the right to call them her kids... this really irritates me... she likes to play house but when she's bored and done she wants to just be done and go back to her stripping partying life style... I hate that she does this to the boys... they deserve better and have better but I really feel like she is holding them back from moving forward in ways they should be because she is a part of the past that is around long enough and just enough for them to be stuck in the past. I may be a bad sister for saying this but I hope she never gets custody of them because she didn't work hard enough through the younger years to be a part of their life to be a part of their life in the future. My kids drive me up a wall... to the point of screaming and yelling as I stomp around the house or calling my grandma screaming at her trying to get an answer out of her on how to fix my kids because she had 8... and in all reality not only is every kids different even after so many but it's not that they need to be fixed they need consistancy... something my sisters visits are far from... And with so many people out there not being able to reproduce or have the money to adopt my sister has two children that she gave up on twice and comes around once a month or so. My sister I don't think deserves to ever feel like a mother and she is clueless on the work it takes to raise them from day one. I get concerned that my son might hate me because I take care of the baby or that he might feel unloved because I don't hold him as much as I hold her or that I don't spend enough time with him because I am so wrapped up in taking care of the baby. I feel like there isn't enough of me to care enough for my children and it's like she feels that once a month visit is more than enough for them to keep calling her mommy... this angers me so much for so many reasons... I don't think she should be allowed to see her kids until she can get her life together enough to deserve it and gain partial custody or at least court ordered visitation...